A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 35+ years of experience as a healthcare professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for educational blogs and newsletter.
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Did you know it’s possible to have more than one orgasm in a single sexual session? In this episode we discuss how women can experience multiple orgasms including techniques to explore for wave after wave of pleasure.
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Hello everyone, I'm Cindy Sharkey, and this is Permission for Pleasure. Today we're going to talk about orgasms, specifically multi-orgasms, and even more specifically, multi-orgasmic women. Because yes, women can be multi-orgasmic. Now, before we get on with all the juicy orgasm education, if you're a regular listener of the show, will you please follow the podcast on your listening platform and use the stars to rate the show wherever you listen? Friends, even better is when you share your favorite episode with a friend and help bring a new listener to our community. Thanks for spreading permission for pleasure. We are growing all around the world. Now, friends, you know I'm the loop fairy, and today's episode is sponsored by my favorite silicone lube, Uberloop. I love how it comes in a beautiful glass bottle, that it has a metered pump, and that when I introduce people to it, they say things like, Wow, this is so silky smooth. And the lube I used before was gummy and clumpy. I just couldn't get motivated. This lube, very different. Or it lasts so long and even works in water. It's the best friends. Look for my discount code in the show notes and use it at uberlube.com for your absolute best pricing deal. Remember that when you buy it there on their website and use my code, they'll know I sent you from the podcast. Now let's talk about multiorgasmic women. Multiorgasmic means the capability of having more than one orgasm in a single sexual session. While all women have the capacity to be multi-orgasmic, not every woman experiences them or desires them. Whether you experience one orgasm at a time or more than one in a sexual session, you're normal. The available research really does vary on the percentage of women who report experiencing multiple orgasms. And there's also a broad range of how women describe their experiences. You know what I'm always saying on this show. You and your individual body are unique. Comparison is not your friend in the bedroom. Allowing yourself to experience multiple orgasms will require a few things. Number one, a good understanding of your own body and how you individually function sexually. And not rushing. Think marathon, not a sprint. And also a good amount of practice. Almost no one moves into being multi-orgasmic on their first try. Here's the thing orgasm is something you allow to happen. Often women, you know, we need that adjustment in our mindset from ideas and words like achieving to more like allowing. This may really help you recognize and experience more pleasure, and that alone is a win. If the orgasms keep coming, friends, well then even more reason to celebrate. Let's revisit our anatomy, shall we? Women have a large area of erectile tissue, including the whole clitoral network. Remember that the clitoris isn't a small button. The glands clitoris that you can see on the outside is just the tip of the iceberg. There's a whole lot of the clitoral network that is below the surface that you cannot see from the outside. If you're new here on the podcast and have not heard about the whole clitoral anatomy, please do check the show notes for the link. You must have this education. All of that clitoral network is available to be activated with stimulation creating arousal. Here's the thing women can get aroused an orgasm with only a part of their clitoral network activated. However, the clitoral network is all interconnected, and when different areas are stimulated, it creates different arousal and different orgasmic potential. Let me put it a little more plainly. The more arousal, the more engagement of different areas of the clitoral network, the more orgasmic potential. So while it may take women time and trial and error and doing different things to reach maximum arousal and orgasm, once they figure out those things, that move into multiple orgasm is definitely easier. Here's the thing I find in working with women. Many of them do not give themselves permission for the time it takes to get adequately aroused, let alone maximally aroused. For our bodies, we need more than five minutes, like you see in the movies, more like 20 to 40 minutes to reach a juicy, aroused, pleasurable state that will lead to orgasm and perhaps more than one or two or three. The other bit of education about how women's bodies work is this. After experiencing an orgasm, so an initial orgasm, the resolution phase or lowering of arousal is a slower process for women. We don't have the same refactory period as male bodies, meaning we don't need a recovery window of time or a full stop like male bodies do. So if arousal is maintained post-initial climax, women can have the ability to build up to orgasm again and again in the same sexual session. Certainly people may take a little rest or a pause, however, they don't allow enough time to significantly lower their level of arousal. Now, if you've heard me talk about edging on this show or you've heard the term, this is one of the reasons people practice edging. Edging is a technique or a practice of bringing yourself or your partner close to or to the edge of orgasm, and then backing off or decreasing stimulation and then building back up again. See what this does? Edging can help you learn arousal in your own body, how to build it up and how to maintain it, and how to dial it up and up again. So you can see how this works into multi-orgasmic experiences, right? One of the biggest keys is arousal. Really, really good arousal. I'll link to the edging episode and blog in the show notes. Remember now, you can have really juicy arousal and not the lubrication to go with it. This is where your Uber lube comes in. Longer arousal play needs adequate lube so you don't have too much friction. We know that the myth of getting wet as the indicator of arousal is not backed up in the science. Especially for my post-baby, perimenopausal, menopausal folks. Use lube. Now, let's talk a little bit more about stimulation. It helps to be open to various forms of stimulation and also different ways to orgasm. If you're wanting to experiment with building up to orgasm more than once, our bodies are able to experience many different kinds or types of orgasms, depending on where and how the clitoral network is engaged and stimulated. Also, how much our brain is turned on, as well as where and how other erogenous ones are being stimulated, and the whole gamut of different things that arouse us. We talked a lot about this in the episode, level up your pleasure with 20 types of orgasms. Check that in the show notes. And here's an example. You may orgasm from nipple stimulation alone and then move into oral sex. Orgasm from that stimulation and then pivot to penetrative sex, and your arousal is so high, and the position is just right, you may orgasm from penetration, even if that's not your usual way to orgasm. See how this might go. Each orgasm may feel differently and usually does. This is very normal. And women get caught up in this thinking they're all going to be the same, and they're not. Women describe all kinds of feelings around orgasms, certainly with multiple orgasms. Here are a few. Or it can described as weightlessness or warmth all over. Sometimes like a sneeze when the arousal is minimal, where it comes, it's small and you're not quite ready. So many ways to describe orgasms and they can feel many different ways. Now back to stimulation. Multiorgasmic women describe making use of a variety of pleasure zones as well as forms of stimulation. So while some people may be more prone than others to experience multiple orgasms, another factor that might come into play is one's openness to what sex can look like and include. For example, oral stimulation, manual stimulation by yourself or with a partner, sensual touch, nipple play, penetration, pleasure techniques with penetration. I have a whole episode about that. Stimulation to your G spot or various parts of the vagina, where through the walls of the vagina and the tissues, different parts of the clitoral network are engaged. Also, adding vibrators or toys, sensory play, changing positions. All these variations are options for stimulating all parts of the clitoris and other pleasure-sensitive areas in your body. And let's be realistic, it may take time for you to learn to recognize your arousal response to various stimulation and what you enjoy and find pleasure in. So, yes, friends, that's my encouragement for practice. Please do remember this your most important sex organ is your brain. Mentally focus on pleasure and sensation rather than a goal of becoming multi-orgasmic, even the goal of orgasm. This is a healthy mindset, and it can help you in that allowing of climax. Intentionally engage your sensuality too. What sparks or arouses sexual feelings or desire in your body? Tune into your senses. This activates your sexual excitement system, which you want to keep fired up to maintain arousal. If having multiple orgasms is something you are curious about and you're having partnered sex, please do talk about it with your partner. Talk about it together. We know communication is essential, especially if you're going to mutually explore. And truly, becoming multi-orgasmic is an exploration. And with so many possibilities. What a wonder to live in these bodies, friends. These bodies that were made for pleasure. Orgasm or not, multi orgasm or not. I feel excited for you as you get curious. And keep giving yourself permission. Permission for pleasure.
